If you’ve ever said something like that to yourself — or heard it from someone else — you’re not alone. One of the most frustrating parts of ADHD is how even the smallest tasks can feel impossible. Not because you’re lazy or disorganised but because your brain is already running on empty.
“It’s just an email.”
“It would only take five minutes.”
“Why can’t I just do it?”
I see this all the time in coaching sessions: smart, capable women who can do complex things at work, hold families together, and manage 50 mental tabs at once—and still feel completely stuck trying to reply to one message or book a dentist appointment.
So what’s going on?
It’s Not the Task — It’s Everything Around It
ADHD doesn’t make tasks harder in a straightforward way. It changes how your brain processes everything around the task.
Here’s what might be at play:
Executive dysfunction – The brain’s ability to organise, prioritise, and start something… doesn’t kick in. You know what needs to happen — but your brain can’t seem to bridge the gap between knowing and doing.
Mental load – Your mind is juggling so much else — reminders, worries, half-done things — that even “simple” tasks tip the balance. It’s not that the task is complex. It’s that your brain is already whole.
Time blindness – You don’t know if the task will take 5 minutes or 50. That uncertainty makes it feel bigger than it is, so you delay it… and then feel guilty later.
Perfectionism – You tell yourself you’ll do it when you have the right energy, more time, or a better plan. But that moment never comes — so it stays on the list, adding daily pressure.
Rejection sensitivity – Even tiny tasks that involve people — like replying to an email — can feel emotionally loaded. What if you say the wrong thing? What if they think you’re unprofessional? What if it’s too late to respond?
What It Feels Like
When simple things feel hard, it’s not just annoying — it’s emotionally draining. It can look like:
- Constantly putting things off (and then panicking at the last minute)
- Beating yourself up over small things
- Feeling like you’re always behind on “basic” life tasks
- Avoiding decisions because they feel heavier than they should
- Telling yourself, “Other people manage this. What’s wrong with me?”
And the worst part? You know the task isn’t challenging; that disconnect can feel like failure.
You’re Not Lazy. You’re Overloaded.
It’s easy to assume you’re the problem when everything feels difficult. But the real issue is that your brain is navigating a world full of friction — and it’s working much harder than most people realise.
You don’t need more willpower. You need less pressure, better tools, and support that fits your brain.
What Helps (Without Adding Pressure)
Here are a few gentle, realistic things that can help:
✅ Lower the entry point
Don’t aim to finish the task. Just aim to start. Open the tab, type one word, and say, “I’ll do five minutes.” Often, that’s enough to get momentum going.
✅ Use body-based cues
A quick stretch, walk, or pause before trying again can shift your state. I’ll be sharing some ADHD-friendly meditation and grounding tracks soon—short and designed to reset your nervous system without taking up a lot of time.
✅ Plan for the brain you have
If you consistently ignore to-do lists, stop pretending that’s your tool. Coaching can help you find systems that work for your thoughts and feelings.
✅ Celebrate the tiny wins
You booked the appointment, sent the email, and asked for help. That matters. Your brain needs to register those moments—not just the ones that look impressive from the outside.
It’s Okay If the Basics Feel Hard
You’re not broken if you’ve been stuck on the same “easy” task for days. You’re not weak. You’re not lazy.
You’re likely carrying too much without the right kind of support.
This is something we often work on in ADHD coaching—not just finding new strategies but also unlearning all the pressure and self-blame that’s built up over the years.
If this sounds familiar, I’d love to help.
Book a discovery call if you’re ready to explore what support could look like — no pressure, no prep, just a calm conversation to see what might help you feel more in control.
